Have you heard this statement yet? “Empathy is a sin.”
Maybe you saw it as a book title or a friend mentioned it. Maybe it showed up in your social media feed attached to a much bigger, angrier conversation than you expected. (This was my experience.) However it reached you, I imagine it landed the same way it landed on me: with a little jolt of “Wait, what?”
Because if there’s one thing most of us have always believed about Jesus, it’s that He felt things deeply. For us. With us.
So today, let’s slow down and look at this together. Not at the headlines or as a controversial opinion challenge, but at Scripture itself. What is empathy, biblically speaking? Is it dangerous? Is empathy a sin? And how does God want us to love the hurting people around us?
Let’s dig in.
Where is the Claim “Empathy Is a Sin” Coming From?
I saw this headline on a popular and well-known Christian website and did a double take. The author, writing in a style taken from “The Screwtape Letters,” argues that empathy can twist compassion into sin. It’s a creative approach, but I think it takes a wrong turn, and Scripture shows us why.
This claim has been picked up and promoted, and its proponents frame it as this: empathy becomes a problem when someone else’s pain is allowed to override truth: when “I feel for you” turns into “so I have to agree with you, affirm your choices, or abandon what God’s Word says is right.”
I’m sure we’ve all met (or been) the well-meaning friend who got so wrapped up in someone’s pain that wisdom and truth got left at the door. That’s worth guarding against.
But here’s where I land, and where I believe Scripture lands too:
The answer to misused empathy is not no empathy- it’s empathy carried out with biblical truth, the way Jesus shows us.
Let’s see why.
What Empathy Actually Is
Empathy simply means feeling with someone, taking into consideration their experience, their sorrow, their joy, rather than observing it from afar.
As a nurse, I was taught empathy as a therapeutic standard. We display empathy rather than sympathy because empathy fosters a supportive connection without compromising your objectivity.
Empathy helps us understand their experience genuinely from their perspective. It keeps us emotionally grounded and objective.
It’s different from sympathy, which can either be polite and detached (“That’s too bad”) or sound judgmental or minimizing their feelings (“I feel sorry this happened to you.”)
Empathy gets close. It says, “I am with you.”
Empathy is not agreement. This is the piece that gets lost in the modern debate, so let’s say it plainly: feeling someone’s pain is not the same as endorsing every choice that led to it.
You can sit with a grieving friend without agreeing with the decision that caused the grief. You can cry with someone and still, gently, in time, speak truth to them.
Jesus did this constantly; He never once had to choose between understanding someone’s emotions and truth.
Examples of Empathy in the Bible
This is where the claim “empathy is a sin” runs into trouble, because empathy isn’t a side note in Scripture. It’s woven into the character of God Himself.
Jesus wept at Lazarus’s tomb (John 11:33-35). This one stops me every time. Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. The grief in those moments was, in a few minutes, going to turn to joy.
And yet, seeing Mary weeping, Scripture says Jesus was “deeply moved” and He wept. He didn’t need to just feel that sorrow- He entered it alongside the people He loved, even with the ending already secured in His hands.
Jesus had compassion on the crowds (Matthew 9:35-36, Matthew 14:14). Again and again, the Gospels describe Jesus looking at the people pressing in around Him; tired, sick, confused, hungry, and being moved by their situations before He ever taught, healed, or fed them.
His empathy came first: seeing their hunger, their confusion, their need. Compassion naturally followed: the desire to act, to feed, to heal, to help.
The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:33-34). When Jesus wanted to define what it means to love your neighbor, He didn’t simply recite the law. He told a story about a man who saw someone hurting on the side of the road.
The Samaritan saw the suffering, injured man and put cultural differences aside. Unlike the others who walked by, he had an empathetic reaction- to go to him. This led him to act with compassion: bandaging wounds, paying for his care, and getting personally inconvenienced by someone else’s pain.
Jesus made empathy, compassion, and mercy towards the hurting a hallmark of being His disciples, stating, “Go, and do likewise.” (v37)
Job’s friends, in their best moment (Job 2:11-13). This one is worth carefully thinking about. When Job’s three friends heard about his suffering, they came, they wept with him, they sat with him in silence for seven days.
That part- the showing up, the silence, the presence- was exactly the right thing to do.
It was only later, when they opened their mouths with confident theological explanations for Job’s suffering, that they went wrong. Their empathy wasn’t the problem, their theology was.
Jesus, our empathizing High Priest (Hebrews 4:15). “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet he did not sin.”
Jesus was a loving, caring, and feeling person. When we are suffering, He hurts with us.
Jesus’ empathy for us isn’t a liability in His ministry; it’s the reason we can approach Him with confidence! He doesn’t see our sorrow and struggles from a distance. He has lived in a body, felt temptation, suffered, and known deep sorrow.
What Scripture Commands, Not Just Models
The Bible doesn’t just show us empathy in action; it calls us to live it out.
- Romans 12:15- “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
- 1 Peter 3:8- “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic (Greek: suffering or feeling the like with another), love one another, be compassionate and humble.”
- Galatians 6:2– “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
- 1 John 3:17- “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”
- Proverbs 14:31– “He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.”
- Matthew 5:3-12- Jesus tells us in the Beatitudes if we want to live for God, we must be ready to say and do what seems strange to the world. Give when others take, help when others abuse, love when others hate.
Can you see the pattern? These aren’t suggestions for the unusually soft-hearted among us. They’re instructions for the whole body of Christ. If empathy were spiritually dangerous, it’s strange that God would command it so often, so plainly, with no asterisk attached.
Where Does Wisdom Come In?
When we spend time in His Word, we receive God’s wisdom and understanding. It helps us separate what is true or false and the will of God.
Let’s run “empathy is a sin” through the filter of discernment:
- Does it align with Scripture?
- Will it bring glory to God?
- Does it reflect love for others or His character?
Empathy tells you how someone feels; not what is true or what is right. That’s the purpose of Scripture, prayer, and Godly counsel. The danger isn’t feeling for someone- it’s letting that feeling become your only source of truth, the way Job’s friends eventually let their theories about suffering speak louder than their listening.
We don’t need less empathy. We need empathy paired with discernment:
- Feel with and for someone and still hold to what God’s Word says.
- Sit with someone in pain and still pray for wisdom about how and/or when to open a dialogue. Empathy can encourage people to embrace conversation.
- Let your heart break for someone and let that feeling move you toward them, not away from what’s right.
A Prayer for a Tender, Truthful Heart
Lord, thank You that You don’t watch my pain from afar. Thank You for coming near to me with empathy, compassion, love, and grace. Give me a softened heart that is rooted in Your Word, so I never confuse empathy and compassion with compromise. Help me bear burdens that aren’t mine, to mourn with those who mourn, and to love all others in the same way that You love me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
You Were Made to Feel with Others
If you’ve ever wondered whether your tender heart was a weakness, hear this clearly: it isn’t. It reflects the God who wept at a friend’s tomb, who put on flesh and walked through grief, temptation, and sorrow so He could say to you- I understand. I am here with you.
Empathy was never the enemy of truth. It always accompanied truth, making truth land like love instead of a lecture.
So go ahead. Sit with a friend who’s hurting. Weep with those who weep. Let your heart move you before you rush in to solve the problem. That’s not a sin.
That’s Christ in you.
Blessings!
AnnMarie
All Scripture is taken from the New International Version unless specified otherwise.
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